Wombat sex

Somehow, my coworker Gene and I got to talking about wombats. I think for some reason we were discussing that fetish where people dress up in animal costumes, and Gene's mind immediately went to the wombat. Then we realized that neither of us knew what a wombat looked like.

So I ran a Google image search for "wombats," and the first result was an Australian newspaper article with the headline, "Secret sex life of wombats."

Perhaps if American newspapers had stories this awesome, they're circulations would not be declining at the rate of a female wombat running a figure-eight around her potential mate.

Intrigued yet?

A study was released in December 2005 detailing the sex life of wombats, a previously unexplored phenomenon. Turns out, they're way into the Kama Sutra.

"It appeared to be a physically demanding process, complete with chasing, biting, grunting and loads of heavy breathing," said biologist Clive Marks, the author of the study.

After prolonged copulation, Marks said, the female pulls away and begins trotting in figure-eights around her mate.

"The male chased her, following closely behind, and then bit her on the rump," Marks wrote in the study, published in Nature Australia.

"She immediately stopped just long enough to permit him to roll her on her side and begin copulating again.

"If the male was slow to mount, she would kick back aggressively and not let him roll her on her side again until she had run round in more circles and figures of eight. This happened seven times."

This study prompted zoos to reevaluate their wombat enclosures. Apparently, if wombats don't have enough space to trot figure-eights around their mates then they just won't mate at all.

If you're interested — and seriously, who *wouldn't* be? — here's the full study, entitled "Wombat Sex. It includes gems like:

But in an obtuse if not flippant sort of way, Australians have always nursed a fascination for the sex life of wombats. If only I’d been given a dollar every
time I was asked the question: “Is it true that a wombat eats, roots and leaves?”

If you read it, try not to judge the dude for his overuse of exclamation points. He's just really excited about wombat sex.