On petty theft

So I needed boxes for my upcoming move (If you're one of the three people who actually reads this thing, I imagine you already know, but just in case, I'm moving all my stuff into storage and taking off for Europe for three months), and after visiting seven different places and not getting anything, I finally pulled to the back of Wal-Mart. There were a bunch of crushed and unusable boxes, but there were also some that were stacked nicely along the wall. On them, they said, "RETURN FOR CREDIT. BOXES COST WAL-MART AN AVERAGE OF 75 CENTS. DON'T THROW AWAY." I took 10. That's not stealing, is it?

I scared the shit outta someone yesterday

I did. I was running along, minding my own business, when I started to approach two teenage girls who were walking on the sidewalk. I passed them to the left, and the girl on the left side screamed, this high-pitched, piercing, long-lasting scream. Then she did a double-take, meaning she looked over at me a second time — and screamed again. Yep. I'm terrifying.

In other news, how the hell are you supposed to write a 750-word critique of an entire magazine?

The Wal-Mart that is my car

So last night I was at a friend's house and I needed two things from my car: a toothbrush and a tampon. When I began my search, I wasn't sure if I had either, but in the process of looking, these are some of the things I found in there:
• A stuffed monkey
• My mom's ex-boyfriend's Air Force jacket
• A NY Times from Oct. 31
• A cat fishing pole toy
• An Economics textbook from sophomore year in college
• The program from my dad's memorial service
• An empty bottle of listerine
• A WNBA media guide
• A bag of cat food
• A toothbrush and toothpaste
• My high school letterman jacket
But...
no tampons.

Financial breakthrough

Did you know my I can wear a boys size 4 shoe?? They're waaaay cheaper *and* they're not pink. This is all very exciting to me.

The last month and a half of my life...

Tell me what you think, keeping in mind the first sentence of the "Life in poverty" section didn't suck when I turned it in — we have one really crappy copy editor who likes to fuck with other people's work.

http://tracypress.com/local/2006-01-09-children.php

Happy hippies

Yesterday I got flipped off (emphatically — it wasn't one of those subtle finger-raises) and tailed by a guy with "PEACE" and "LOVE" stickers all over his Volkswagen.

Why People Kill.

At 7:15 this morning I woke up to two concurrent sounds: One was the sound of a hammer against a wooden fence and the prying of wooden planks off the fence (think MRI banging and then nails against a chalkboard). The other was the sound of two pitbulls barking and growling incessantly because they, too, had been woken up by the hammer and the prying. After about 15 minutes, I finally went to the window and asked the bearer of the hammer if he might please wait an hour to create this racket, as it was 7:30 in the morning. (I *swear* I really was that polite)

His response:
"Are you serious?" With a little bit of a laugh.

"Yes," I said. "It's 7:30 in the morning and I have about another hour to sleep. It's a little early for all this noise."

Him: *chuckle* "No. This is the only time I have to do this."

Me: *glare*close window as loudly as I could*

I think next time I get back from work around midnight, I'm going to start banging things around and making all kinds of noise and having cats growl loudly to wake him up. I think that might be a good idea.

This is why people kill.