Change for a 10

A robber in Greenburgh, N.Y. forced his victim to go into a pizza place and get change for a 10 because the robber only wanted $4.

James Mitchell, 48, of Mount Vernon, held an 18-year-old kid at knifepoint and told him he wanted a plastic rose the kid had just bought and $4. When the kid said all he had was a 10, Mitchell told him to go into a nearby pizza place and get change.

Greenburgh police Capt. Joseph DeCarlo, as quoted in the AP:
"He came out of the store and was approached by the suspect, who said,
'Give me the rose,' DeCarlo said. "The kid told him, 'Go in there and get one.'
But the suspect says, 'I want that one, and your money, too,' and pulls out a
knife. All the kid has is a 10, and the perp says, 'I only want $4.' He tells
the kid to go into the pizza parlor and get change. Then the kid comes out, he
takes his $4 and he leaves.''

Mitchell was apprehended by police a few blocks away.

When I was a kid, I totally earned $5 by singing "Leavin' on a Jet Plane" on a corner at the Third Street Promenade (I *really* wanted to see Terminator 2 and my mom said if I wanted to see it that night I'd have to earn the money myself. She, incidentally, still didn't let me see it that night.) Anyway, the dude totally shoulda just done that.

A new kind of trail mix

I was just cleaning out my car and found way too many In N Out french fries given that I haven't lived in a state with In N Out since February 2006.

Mixed in there, I also found very old versions of the following: Skittles, Pringles, cat food kibbles, nacho cheese Doritos and a Craisin. Any takers?

Clothing optional (again)

My regular readers (reader?) might remember a post from a while back about Brattleboro, Vt., a town that previously allowed all public nudity. After an old man from Arizona visited the town's monthly art fair specifically so he could stroll naked down Main Street, the town Selectboard passed an emergency ordinance banning nudity in certain areas (other areas of town continued to allow it).

Now, in what may be my first blog follow-up ever (and note that I'm similarly forgetful and unmotivated when it comes to my actual job), I am posting to let you know that the temporary ban on nudity will expire next month and the Selectboard has voted not to make it permanent.

One board member proposed an amendment to strike the words "breast" and buttocks" from the language of the ordinance, thus paring down the ban solely to "genitals," but the ordinance with the amendment was defeated 3-2.

So if anyone wants to walk around naked in public...

Brattleboro Reformer story here.

Welcome Home Hessy Day

I would like to officially extend my congratulations to myself on getting my car back.

For those of you who don't know, Hessy Honda spent three weeks in the Highland Park impound lot after an overzealous, bored, and under-his-monthly-quota Highland Park cop pulled me over for expired California registration. I was quite polite to him (until I wasn't anymore), but he decided to give me a ticket and tow my car to the impound lot (he also called for backup because I was being mean to him).

This was on a Saturday, so initially I was angry because I wouldn't be able to get my car back until the DMV opened on Monday. This was because I needed to renew my registration to get my car back, and I couldn't renew it online in California because it needed a smog check.

So I got to the DMV the following Monday and after waiting in various lines and giving various people various forms of identification, a lady told me that I couldn't get my NJ registration until I got an NJ license and I couldn't get an NJ license until I got a clearance letter from Connecticut.

Yes, the speeding ticket I got in Connecticut three years ago and was waiting to pay until at least three years passed to avoid getting points on my insurance officially came back to bite me in the ass.

Now.

Me: How do I get a clearance letter from Connecticut?
Lady: Call Connecticut.
Me: What's the number for Connecticut?
Lady: It's on the slip of paper I handed you.
Me: *looks down at slip of paper* The only thing on this paper is my name.
Lady: So find the number yourself.
Me: How do I do that? Can't you just tell me the number?
Lady: 4-1-1
Me: *possibly not in the most polite tone* I'm supposed to call 4-1-1 and ask for the number for Connecticut?
Lady: Yes.

So I went home and looked up the number for the Connecticut DMV, which put me on hold for half an hour before transferring me to the clearance letter department, which put me on hold for half an hour before a woman picked up. She told me to call the courthouse that dealt with my ticket, that they would forward my info along the the DMV and that the DMV would send me a clearance letter. Is there any way to expedite the process? I asked. No.

So I called the courthouse, and the lady there told me I owed them about $350 to reopen my case and to pay my ticket. I took out my credit card.
Lady: We don't take credit card payments. You need to send a money order.
Me: What about debit cards? Can you approve that over the phone?
Lady: No.
Me: Checking account and routing number?
Lady: No.
Me: OK, so I'll send my payment and then you'll forward along the info to the DMV?
Lady: No.
Me: So how do I get the clearance letter?
Lady: You need to send the receipt we send you to the DMV. Along with a special clearance letter request form. And $125.
Me: Oh. Is there any way to expedite this?
Lady: No.

So I did everything as instructed, using priority mail in all instances and convincing myself that that was almost as good as expediting it, and the clearance letter finally came Friday. I spent Monday at the DMV, the car rental place (I've been driving a PT Cruiser), the impound lot, the inspection station and the cars of two different co-workers who were nice enough to give me rides where necessary.

In the end, after the car rental ($1,600), the impound fees ($565, in cash), car repairs and inspection certificate ($1,100), Connecticut ticket fees and clearance letter, and New Jersey registration, title and license fees, I'm about $3,000 in the whole.

But at least I'm no longer driving a PT Cruiser.

And if anyone wants to give me a million dollars for my upcoming birthday... well, e-mail me and I'll tell you where to send the check.

Becky's first (right?) published reviews

So Becky reviewed her first two plays for offoffonline.com at the Fringe Festival over the weekend. For those of you who know as little about this as I do, said Web site is "Your comprehensive resource for New York City off-off-Broadway theatre listings and reviews" -- at least, according to said Web site. In any case, she's pretty good at this writing thing...
Death and Dreams review
http://www.offoffonline.com/reviews.php?id=1104
Greek Tragedy as Performance Art review
http://www.offoffonline.com/reviews.php?id=1107

Only because I've been a lazy-ass blogger lately...

If you're still checking this thing with the hope that I'll get off my lazy ass and start updating it again (with something more than a minimally funny Denis Leary quote), I'll humor you. Or more specifically, direct you to a place where you can be bored to tears by a story that took up all my time last week. I think it's an important story, but I didn't exactly do a good job of keeping it entertaining...

Ex-convicts face uphill battle for jobs
and the even-less-interesting-to-read sidebar (which I'm just realizing has a mistake... maybe you'll read it and play the find-the-mistake game. I hear it's quite fun.)

Also, in during my stretch of laziness-related lack of blogging, I never officially and publicly congratulated Brian on his engagement. So here it is. I would like to publicly extend my congratulations to Brian on his recent engagement to Amy. Here's to a wedding with an open bar. *clinks champagne glasses*

Done and done.

OK. That's all I've got for you. Maybe I'll post more next week. Or maybe not. I'm quite boring, it seems.

Quote of the day

"You have to be nice to your Jewish friends because they might be your prostate doctor someday." -Denis Leary on the Daily Show yesterday

Why does this brain stem say "No. 2" on it?

Remember that episode of the Simpsons in which doctors discover that Homer has had a crayon embedded inside his brain since he lodged it there while sticking a box of crayons up his nose as a child? Yeah... not exactly the same thing, but...

Woman has pencil removed from head

Women out-earning men

A study by a Queens College demographer found that twenty-something women in some big cities are making more money than twenty-something men. The report shows that women of all educational levels ages 21 to 30 living in New York City and working full time made 117 percent of men’s wages. In Dallas that figure is 120 percent. Women in their 20s are making more than men in Boston, Los Angeles, Chicago and Minneapolis, too.

Experts in the New York Times story (linked above) speculate that since more women are graduating from college than ever before, they're moving to big cities rather than staying in smaller towns, and thus drive up the number of female college grads in the bigger cities, thus driving up the salaries.

Nationally, women still lag, with women in their 20s making a median income of $25,467, compared with $28,523 for men.

They also lag in older age brackets.

I think the salaries will even out and eventually drop below men's averages as the women reach their 30s and 40s and start families, because other studies have shown that most women prefer to either not work at all or work part-time in the early years of their kids lives. So I don't see this as a giant trend in women's progress in this country. But it's still kind of interesting... read the story for more.