Ryder, Mattie and R.E.M.

I finally transferred a bunch of photos from my camera onto the computer, so...

I'll start with Ryder. I went down to D.C. last weekend and saw him. He's probably 9 or 10 weeks old here, and still incredibly sexy, albeit a bit bitey:

Stretch!


I disturbed his nap with the flash.


Hanging out with Liza.

And now Mattie. She is about the same age as Ryder -- maybe a week or so older. I think she looks a little like a bengal kitty. But you can't really tell in these pictures because she's not all stretched out like she does sometimes. Also the lighting is a little off because I had to turn the camera on high-speed so I could catch her running around, which means no flash.

Attack cat.

This one used a flash.

Possessed kitty.

And finally. Becky, Shruti and I went to an R.E.M. concert in Philly a couple of weeks ago. Getting there was a massive ordeal because Googling "Mann Center Philly" takes you to a location on Broad Street, right downtown. It did occur to me that a central location was odd for a massive outdoor arena, but apparently I don't actually listen to common sense.

So I google-mapped directions to the Broad Street location, parked in a $20 public lot, got out of the car and discovered that the arena is actually all the way out in West Philly. In the end, it took about an hour and a half to drive from Edison to Philly... and another hour and a half to find the place. Because I am that smart.

Anyway here are the few photos we took:
Me, Shruti and Becky after the show. For some reason the one of us with the smallest boobs has the most major cleavage going on. Well done, Becky.

Shruti and Becky.

Eddie Vedder came out for a song and Becky got all weepy and excited. I wanted to take a picture of her being all weepy and excited without her knowing that I was taking a picture of her being all weepy and excited (because I didn't want her to stop being weepy and excited), but clandestine photography is not my strong suit and this is the best I was able to do. You can still get the gist, though.


I feel like this sets the entire tone of the concert. R.E.M. was great but for some reason the crowd had absolutely no energy, aside from two people dancing all excitedly in the back of the lawn. This couple fell asleep shortly after R.E.M. came on and then left early.

So that's it. The memory in my camera is officially purged.

SCALDING HOT SOUP FOR YOU!

So two kitchen workers at a restaurant in Woodbridge got into a fight Tuesday about how to make chicken soup.

Neither of them spoke a common language so they had to act everything out.

Needless to say, things got heated.

So Guy #1 punches Guy #2 in the jaw.

Guy #2 dips a several-quart pan into a large cauldron of boiling chicken soup to scoop up several quarts of boiling soup.

And pours it over the head of Guy #1.

Guy #2 suffered burns on his hands from the soup and was taken to the hospital for treatment. Guy #1 was airlifted to another hospital. Guy #2, incidentally, is now facing deportation because it turns out he is here illegally. But at least now Guy #1 knows how to make chicken soup properly, right?

You should note that in the police report, under "type of crime," the police officer checked "other" and wrote, "Poured scalding hot soup on victim."

Our story here.

Unnamed kitten!

After meeting Ryder, The One Who Was The Giant Douche, A.K.A. Jorge, if that's easier, decided that it was time to start looking for a kitten of his own. For some reason, he thought we were just going to go look at kittens and not adopt one. I obviously planned on him adopting one, but he apparently doesn't know me well enough to realize that.

In the end it didn't take much convincing.

We were walking through the kitten area, looking inside the cages, when one kitten reached out of her cage and thwacked him in the face.

After a long interrogation by one of the Cat Ladies (and some necessary assistance on my part after he didn't tell her exactly what she wanted to hear), he had his kitten.


She is about 10 weeks old and was found the day before in front of Sovereign Bank. He's still trying to think of a name, and he wants it to have something to do with royalty (because of the Sovereign Bank thing) but not be lame (like Princess or Queen Elizabeth). So if anyone has any suggestions, feel free to leave them here.......

This is my favorite...

Yawning kitten...

So sexy.

In my bathroom while we went to PetSmart to get her set up at his house.

Apparently I am an old lady

So you know how the little man inside the grocery store computer takes into account what you buy and then spits out coupons accordingly? Well usually, I end up with a coupon for organic milk and maybe a $1 off five SmartOnes.

Today, all I got was this:

Now. I didn't buy Ensure or Centrum Silver or Fibercon or any of those old-people-type things. But apparently, I shop like a retired person. God I'm cool.

"Was it prurient? I don't know what to tell you."

I mean, seriously, is bestiality ever prurient?

I'll back up.

A federal appeals court judge has a family Web site, complete with all the standard stuff -- family photos, legal writings... and a video of a man "cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal," according to the AP.

Alex Kozinski, 57, the chief judge of the federal appeals court in California, was forced to suspend an obscenity trial yesterday after the L.A. Times reported that his Web site featured pornography.

"Is it prurient? I don't know what to tell you," he told the L.A. Times. "I think it's odd and interesting. It's part of life."

From the L.A. Times, which reported the hell out of the story:

Among the images on the site were a photo of naked women on all fours painted to look like cows and a video of a half-dressed man cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal. He defended some of the adult content as "funny" but conceded that other postings were inappropriate.

More:

The sexually explicit material on the site was extensive, including images of masturbation, public sex and contortionist sex. There was a slide show striptease featuring a transsexual, and a folder that contained a series of photos of women's crotches in snug-fitting clothing or underwear.

Kozinski told The Times that he began saving the sexually explicit materials and other items of interest on his website years ago.

"People send me stuff like this all the time," he said.

Among the sexually explicit material on his site that he defended as humorous were two photos. In one, a young man is bent over in a chair and performing fellatio on himself. In the other, two women are sitting in what appears to be a cafe with their skirts hiked up to reveal their pubic hair and genitalia. Behind them is a sign reading "Bush for President."

"That is a funny joke," Kozinski said.

Here's his quote to the New York Times:

“I guess I should be more careful about access and all,” he said. “I didn’t put anything on there I think would be embarrassing.”

From the AP:

He suspended until Monday the trial of Ira Isaacs, who is charged with obscenity for selling movies depicting bestiality and extreme fetishes involving feces and urination.

Now. Kozinski, who was seriously considered by H.W. for the Supreme Courts seats that ultimately went to Souter and Thomas, is no Larry Craig (or Clarence Thomas, for that matter) -- this is a guy who has always been an avid supporter of porn.

In 2001, he fought federal court administrators in D.C. over porn-blocking Web filters that they installed on government computers. From a government computer room in San Francisco, he personally disabled the filters for three appellate circuits and began a back-and-forth with the court administrators. They caved.

From the AP:

He has written video game reviews for the Wall Street Journal, and his prolific commentary on everything from the death penalty to the use of Yiddish in the law has appeared in legal journals and mainstream media alike.

I'll keep you people updated on this stuff... or you could just read the LAT........

Ryder

As promised, I'm posting more photos of Ryder. I should, in fact, be working on something else, but instead I decided to optimize 75 kitten photos and place them in different locations throughout the Web. Because I use my time efficiently.

Earlier today I decided to go to the pool in Woodbridge, because it is 90+ degrees today and they are one of the few pools in the area that doesn't require membership (although they charge a pretty hefty daily fee). So I drive all the way up there (OK, it's six miles, but if you knew Route 1...) and see a sign saying the pool is open only to members until next weekend, when they will start admitting the general public.

So now I am covered in sunscreen, all packed for the pool, and tanless. Which makes me sad.

But kitten pictures make me happy. So:

In his spot in the bathroom...

In the arms of the One Who Was the Giant Douche. At this point he has already fallen in love.

Meeting Gizmo for the first time (after feline AIDS and leukemia tests came back negative). A.M. is sitting on the futon hissing.

Hanging out on my lap at Liza's house. The initial photo had me in it, but I had 17 chins and therefore cropped myself out.

Being the sexiest man in the world. That's Liza's coffee table above him. It has bars underneath it which he likes to try to walk on. Unfortunately for him, he is very wobbly and falls constantly.

We came back from Petsmart to find him chillin' here, on top of her couch. He started acting like he owned the place within minutes.

We were amused by this photo because Liza is clearly elated and Ryder seems so uninterested.

My turn to be all excited about Ryder while he is not interested.

He slept with me at Liza's!

Satisfied customer photos, as requested by Sara.