"In today's world, pants are worn fairly loose"

Taken directly from the AP, because A) I'm lazy and don't even feel like writing the stuff I *should* be writing, and B) I'm just not sure I can do any better...

DULUTH, Minn. (AP) — A man who allegedly tried to burglarize a home lost his clothes in a scuffle with the 69-year-old homeowner and then tried to streak away before he was arrested.
Wayne and Kathie Boniface returned home from dinner Thursday night at a neighbor's to find the man in their house. Wayne Boniface said the man made the mistake of grabbing his wife.
"As soon as he grabbed my wife, I had him in the kitchen wrestling him to the ground in a headlock and arm-lock,'' Boniface said.
First, Boniface said, he ripped the man's shirt off. Then, "his head was down over the railing, and in today's world, pants are worn fairly loose. I pulled his pants, and his pants and underpants and shoes came completely off. He was completely nude.''
When police asked Boniface if he could identify the suspect, he said: "Oh, yeah.
I believe he's the only guy running nude in Duluth.''
The 20-year-old man was apprehended about 20 minutes later. He has been charged with two counts of first-degree burglary. The man's name was not released.

In other news, I'll be en route to Thailand in less than 48 hours. Don't hate me because I'll be petting tigers and you won't...