"This toothpaste tastes awful"

So Becky and I returned to my aunt's apartment last night after a few drinks, and as we were both getting ready for bed she emerged from the bathroom with a generally disgusted look on her face.

"This toothpaste tastes awful," she said, holding up the white tube.

That's when she actually looked at the tube in her hand. And realized she had spent the last three minutes brushing her teeth with hydrocortisone cream.

It capped a day spent soup-kitchening, watching surgery shows on Discovery, going out to eat and drinking.

We volunteered at a soup kitchen in Queens, where we cut and peeled carrots and.. yeah... pretty much it. They were giant carrots and we spent our time comparing each one to different men. The nice, churchgoing volunteers doing the real cooking may have been giving us dirty looks.

Once the cooking was done we essentially served as the cheerful greeters as people walked in the door. I signed people in and Becky directed them "a la izquierda," and all the men were very happy about the cute girls in the hairnets at the front door. That's right. We got a lot of second looks. In fact, if they'd had phone we *totally* could have gotten, like, 50 numbers.