At least she'll be powder fresh

I know I generally pilfer from the AP for this thing, so today I thought I'd mix it up a little and instead pilfer from Nicole. This morning I received the following e-mail from Nicole, whose boyfriend's parents are currently visiting them in Puerto Rico.

I woke up this morning and Dave's parents were there. His mom had dryer sheets under each arm, tucked into her sandals, tucked into her shirt like a bib, sticking out of her pants pockets and in each hand.

Why you ask?

To keep the mosquitoes away of course.

She doesn't want to use bug spray because she "just doesn't trust DEET" but thinks she read somewhere that dryer sheets will keep the bugs away. This apparently isn't true because she was still getting bit and was informing me about each bite since it is apparently my fault that Puerto Rico has a lot of mosquitoes. She keeps saying "I only get bit at your house" and I want to tell her that is because other than my house the only place she goes is to air conditioned restaurants, but each time I bite my tongue.

But despite the fact that the dryer sheets obviously weren't working she still insisted on walking around covered in dryer sheets instead of using the fucking bug wipes that I bought. The last straw for me was when she was trying to get a dryer sheet to stay in her hair. I had to leave the room. I don't even have to be at work right now but I'm not leaving because there's too much crazy at my house.