I like to think that in the likely situation of a gang boss releasing venomous snakes on a plane, I would be a hero. I would save babies and puppies and walk away victorious.
But over the weekend I was running in the woods in Greensboro, N.C., and I discovered that I would *not* be heroic at all. In fact, I would make girly noises and sprint away as fast as I could possibly go.
I know this because that is exactly what I did when I saw snakes in the woods in Greensboro. After seeing two different snakes slither across the running path, I spent the rest of my run dodging tree roots like they were going to eat me and screaming whenever a) a squirrel ran by, b) I saw a suspiciously curvy root, or c) the sun peeked through the trees and made a slithery looking shadow.
And here's the other way I know I'm not that brave:
I was driving in New Jersey today when a very large bug started darting around on the inside of my car. I screamed and swerved, then got my bearings and opened the window. The bug did not want to leave. I tried to coax him out the window by poking near him with my Mapquest (I didn't want to actually poke him, as he might fall on me). He still wouldn't leave. Eventually, I had to pull into a McDonald's parking lot and get out of the car. This was not easy, as I was driving on a highway. I also had to climb over the parking break and out the passenger-side door since I had seen the bug on the driver-side door.
Then I couldn't find the bug. So I opened all four doors and all of a sudden he came running out from under some boxes in the back seat. He disappeared again.
I stood in the McDonald's parking lot for 15 minutes trying to find the bug. I even got the McDonald's trash guy to move a box because I thought the bug might be under the box. He didn't understand English and was very confused at my request. He thought I might want him to carry the box inside, and then he kept staring back at me as I stood in the parking lot, smacking a towel around in the car, banging on the seat and doing other strange things.
I never found the bug, but I think he may have left when I wasn't looking. If he didn't leave, and if I get into a car accident in the next few days, you'll know why.
3 comments:
Last night I found a waterbug walking around in the living room. I didnt have enough time to get a pot so I put the fish food container on him. Do you think Sara would be around tonight to talk about Japan and get the bug out of the house? (Harbatwimps)
yikes! lol on the bug. maybe time to get a new car?
btw, what are you doing in NC anyways??
HA! Much like the time you put the pot over a mouse so Dad and I would find it in the middle of the kitchen floor, flapping it's bloody tail around from underneath.
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